Fake Canadians – Travel the World with Pride and Tact, America

So I know a lot of really good spots to takephotos of the Eiffel Tower, because I live right close to it and I'm always looking forgood ones.

I was gonna go to another one in the park, and realized “Nah, I'd rather go to this one.

” The problem is that I passed this girl thatI was following while I was walking there, and she saw me go in there.

Then I decided, “Well, you know what, I'mgonna go ahead and go to the other spot.

” So I come back out, kind of end up followingher again.

The worst part is that she ends up going topretty much this exact location and I think she lives around here somewhere and now shethinks I'm a stalker.

Which I'm not.

Except for on Facebook sometimes.

But that's totally different.

So it's really cold out here, I can't do anentire vlog out here, but today I'm gonna talk about: Canadians and traveling.

I also don't know if you can see it or not, but there are people taking pictures from the Eiffel Tower and they're using their flash.

And all I want to tell them is “Your flashisn't going to help you from up there.

” But me yelling from here is not going to helpeither, so.

Also, are these pine cones? Because I don't think pine cones are madethis way.

Just to clarify before I go any further, thisis not a rip on Canada.

I have lots of Canadian friends.

I love Canada, Canada's great.

It's probably the greatest place [thinking] ever.

But I just wanted to make sure to clarify aheadof time that I'm not ripping on Canada because, Canadians are so nice.

If you're an American, and you're going tobe traveling, you've probably heard about how rough Americans can have it sometimeswhen they're travelling abroad.

You've also probably heard that Canadiansare loved by everyone, and you might be thinking “mmm.



maybe I'll pretend that I'm Canadian.

” You might try to accomplish this by puttinga Canadian flag on your backpack, or maybe adding the word “eh” to everything yousay.

Eh? There are a number of ways to go about it.


Let me give you a few good reasons why.

1) You're ruining it for the rest of us! I'm an American, there's no shame in the matter, and I'm a good traveler, so I don't need to fake that I'm anything else when I'm traveling.

But if you're a good traveler, and you fakethat you're Canadian while you're traveling, all you're doing is giving all of the goodtraveler cred to the Canadians, which leaves that much less for us Americans.

'Murica! 2) There really are horrible traveling Americansout there, and by shifting all of your travel cred over to the Canadians, you're just swingingthe balance into a negative as far as Americans are considered! 3) You're not gonna get away with it withjust a Canadian flag on your backpack.

Real Canadians own and wear at least threeMaple-Leaf endowed items at all times, up to and including their underwear.

4) Canadians are genuinely really cool people.

Stop stealing what they've earned, and helpus Americans earn ours back! If you want to know what the world thinksof American tourists, this guy that I saw in Italy sums it up pretty well.

We're in a small fishing village, famous touristlocation, and this dude is totally drunk and very loud about it.

He's a math teacher, he's there on his own, and is propositioning literally every girl that walks within ten feet of him.

He was loud, obnoxious, and everyone hatedhim.

And that's what people think of American tourists.

They also think we're fat, but, they thinkthat about pretty much all Americans.

Tourist or not.



Here's my plan.

Until you good tourist Americans stop fakingthat you're Canadians, and start giving us good tourist cred as Americans, I'm gonnastart pretending that I'm Canadian too.

I'm gonna grow my beard out, I'm gonna buysome flannel, and then I'm gonna hit the town and get sooooo wasted.

Well, I mean, I'm not gonna get wasted, I'mnot really much of a drinker.

But I am gonna fake that I'm drunk SO GOOD.

Then I'm gonna sing the Canadian nationalanthem as loud as I can, and I'm gonna be loud, and obnoxious, and I'm gonna be borderlinepredatory.

[singing drunk?] Oh Canada, our home and native land [drunk] uh [still singing] True patriot love, in allthy son's comannnd I'm gonna go to every major tourist spot andI'm gonna put Canadian flags on everything.

Over famous tombs and in people's drinks andeverywhere I can find – just to even the score.

If you don't start behaving yourselves andclaiming your American-ness, soon enough there won't be anywhere for you to hide.

Soon, everyone will hate everyone, everywhere.



and it's all be your fault.

If you liked being a friendly tourist, pleaselike the video! And if you like hearing my dastardly schemesplease subscribe.

Feel free to share this video with your fakeCanadian friends, and warn them, because I'm serious.

I'm gonna start messing stuff up if you guysdon't start behaving.

And I will see you for French Friday, if notbefore! [drunken Canadian national anthem – whatto expect in a bar near you soon – get your act together].

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